


A Christmas Miracle ...or Not

by EnthusiasticFish



Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:41:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29792769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnthusiasticFish/pseuds/EnthusiasticFish
Summary: This is the weirdest pairing I've ever written (and it was written long before Jimmy was married to Breena). It's an off-the-wall oneshot appropriate for the two starring in it. There's really not much plot here.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	A Christmas Miracle ...or Not

**A Christmas Miracle...or not  
** by Enthusiastic Fish

Jimmy was just leaving NCIS. It was late. Ducky had been called away unexpectedly and asked Jimmy to finish up in Autopsy. Proud of being left in a position of authority, Jimmy had gladly accepted. ...and then regretted it when it became apparent that he wasn't going to be able to leave until much later than he had planned.

Ah, well. That was life. You won some. You lost some.

"And you guys here have lost it all," Jimmy said aloud, and then laughed at his own joke before stopping to think. "Hmmm...I'm not sure that would go over very well."

No reply.

"Well, this place is dead tonight." He laughed at himself again. "Oh, that one never gets old."

Autopsy was just as quiet as usual, but that never bothered Jimmy. Only a few days before Christmas and he was happy to be able to spend a day or two with his mom even if Christmas Eve would be spent at work. He changed back into his street clothes and headed up to the bullpen. It being Friday, the others often went to a local bar. He tagged along when he could, enjoying the atmosphere of camaraderie.

However, when he got to the bullpen, it was empty...but everyone's stuff was still there meaning that they must be out doing important work late.

"Excuse me, but who are you?"

...or maybe the bullpen _wasn't_ so empty after all.

Jimmy turned around in surprise and unconsciously came to attention. The woman who stalked across the the room to confront him had the no-nonsense look of someone who would kill you in a second if she decided it was necessary...but she would calculate the necessity of it before she did. So you could be secure in the knowledge that, if this woman killed you, you deserved it.

"Um...Jimmy...Palmer. Uh...ma'am."

"And who is Jimmy Palmer?"

"I work in Autopsy...with the dead bodies."

She gave him a surprised look and then smiled. "At ease. I don't bite. Usually."

Jimmy swallowed. "Can...Can I help you with something? I'm good at things other than manipulating dead bodies."

She laughed, again, out of surprise. "I'm looking for the MCRT. Are _they_ dead bodies you manipulate?"

"Oh, no, ma'am," Jimmy said seriously. "I don't think Agent Gibbs could be manipulated even if he _was_ dead."

The laugh that time was delighted.

"Who are _you,_ ma'am, if you don't mind my asking."

"I don't mind. I'm Faith Coleman."

"Oh, the JAG lawyer who is obsessed with her pencils!"

"Agent DiNozzo's description?" she asked mildly.

Jimmy flushed. "Will he get in trouble if I say yes? Will _I_ get in trouble if I don't answer?"

"No to both questions."

"Yes, that's what Tony said about you. That doesn't mean he doesn't respect you though...in a ...way I haven't figured out yet."

"Don't hurt yourself trying to do so, Mr. Palmer. Or are you a doctor?"

"Not yet, but you can call me Jimmy...or Palmer. Only Dr. Mallard really calls me Mr. Palmer. It sounds weird when other people do."

"So noted. Do you know where the MCRT is?"

"No, but their stuff is here; so they're probably out investigating or something like that. They could be down in the lab or maybe up in MTAC. I've always wanted to go in there, you know."

"Have you? Why?"

Jimmy grinned. "Mostly because I'm not allowed to."

"That's as good a reason as any."

"Are they _wanting_ to talk to you, ma'am?"

"Probably not. No one likes talking to lawyers."

"Oh, I don't think you're so bad, ma'am." Jimmy hesitated and then looked at her with a hesitant smile. "Could I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"Could I...see inside your briefcase?"

Faith looked at him as if wondering when the joke would be over. She even looked around to see if anyone was watching. No one was. So she smiled.

"You want to see my briefcase? This isn't a euphemism I'm unfamiliar with, is it?"

"If it is, I am, too. I just want to see it."

"You're an interesting person...Jimmy." Faith walked over to him, set her briefcase on the edge of Gibbs' desk, perfectly lined up with the edge...and she did it without any extra effort it seemed. Then, she gave him a mischievous look before opening the briefcase with a flourish.

Jimmy stared with a feeling of awe. He'd never seen something so very organized...and his mom was a fairly organized person. He'd never seen anything like this...not ever in his life.

"Is it all you were hoping for?" Faith asked.

"And more. Wow. That's impressive. That's...that's _aggressive_ organization."

"I didn't get where I am because I was passive."

Jimmy didn't get a chance to say anything in reply because the elevator doors opened, spilling the entire MCRT out into the bullpen.

"Commander Coleman!" Tony said. "What a pleasant surprise."

"I seriously doubt that," Faith replied, quickly closing her briefcase and turning away from Jimmy as if their conversation had never occurred. She looked at Gibbs. "Agent Gibbs, you were supposed to have your findings to me by now. By seventeen minutes ago, to be exact. Do you want this man to be tried or not?"

"I told you that we'd get everything to you as soon as we could. I did _not_ give you a time frame."

"On the contrary, Agent Gibbs. You did _exactly_ that." She opened up her briefcase and pulled out a notepad. "I took notes while I was speaking to you, plus, I marked it down on my schedule. You said you would have everything by 2000 tonight. It is now 2017."

"McGee?" Gibbs asked, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, Boss. Let me check." Tim sat down at his computer and began typing. Jimmy always liked watching people who knew computers type. They just...typed in a different way from other people. It was fascinating to observe.

"Palmer!"

Jimmy jumped, surprised at being addressed.

"Yes, Agent Gibbs?"

"Where are the Autopsy reports for the Jensen case?"

"Uh...well...uh..."

"Where's Ducky?"

"Had to leave. Called away."

"Lt. Jensen."

"Oh, that's the one with the broken toes!" Jimmy said. "I remember him. It was weird that all his toes were broken at once."

"Palmer, the report?"

"Dr. Mallard said he would drop it off to you on his way out. Didn't he do that?"

"No. I wouldn't be asking if I could see it."

"Well...uh...I guess I could...go and check his desk. Is that what you want me to do?"

"Yes, that would be nice," Gibbs replied mildly.

Jimmy gulped and headed back to the elevator. It never failed. Gibbs just scared him. He went down to Autopsy and to Ducky's office. It wasn't cluttered, but it was full. Ducky didn't like to throw things away. Still, the report, if it was still here, should be on top. Jimmy began searching through the files. Flustered, he tried to be fast, but instead slowed himself down. He forgot that he knew exactly what the Jensen report looked like...because he and Ducky had filled it out together. Ducky was grooming him to be a full-time Assistant M.E. and that meant that he would be required to fill out these forms himself. After a few minutes, he found it right in front of his face and grabbed it, running out of Autopsy and to the elevator. He was panting slightly by the time he got back to the bullpen.

"Do you really think it was necessary to run, Palmer?" Ziva asked with amusement.

Jimmy flushed a little. "I wanted to be fast so that Faith...er, Commander Coleman, could get what she needed. Here it is," he said, wavering between Gibbs and Faith, unsure of who should get it. Gibbs snatched it from him and flipped through it.

"Well, Agent Gibbs?" Faith asked, raising her eyebrows.

Jimmy noticed that every gesture she made seemed planned out. Every expression. She was certain that every part of her presentation was flawless, as if she was performing every moment she was in public. ...but it hadn't seemed so much like that before Gibbs and the rest of the team had come up. She had been a lot less...intimidating. He liked her better as she was before.

Gibbs flipped through the file and nodded in satisfaction. "Everything checks out," he said.

"Good."

"McGee!"

Tim jumped up from his computer, as if he had been timing his completion with Gibbs' order. He clicked on the plasma and started explaining everything to Faith and Gibbs. He showed how he had triangulated the position of the body from his cell phone which had been off but had obviously taken a lot of work to uncover. Tim seemed very proud of himself although he didn't ask for praise...but he clearly hoped for it. He was disappointed. Gibbs merely grunted in agreement and Faith simply asked more questions about locations and implications and how this would hold up in court. She was in work mode, Jimmy decided. Focused completely on the task at hand and everything else took backseat to that. ...including being human. That was why she was so organized.

Jimmy nodded to himself, happy that he'd figured it out...and then surprised at his continued interest in someone he'd met only a few minutes before. In fact, he lingered even when he didn't need to...until he noticed everyone staring at him as he watched them avidly. Jimmy flushed a little bit.

"Jimmy, is there something else you need?" Tim asked.

"Oh, no. I was just...just watching. I don't get to see the end of cases very often. It's fascinating."

Tim smiled in response, although Jimmy wasn't sure if it was a friendly smile or merely a tolerant smile. Regardless, he grinned back...and was happy when no one pointedly told him to leave or even suggested it by an expression. They just went back to work and Jimmy enjoyed his current fly-on-the-wall status. He never failed to be fascinated by the workings of the people above ground. He was happy with his choice of vocation...or rather his _modified_ choice of vocation. All his supervisors, instructors were impressed with his knowledge of anatomy, of his understanding of medical procedures. He was good at all that...but his bedside manner left so much to be desired. Not that he was unfriendly, but years of medical school had failed to temper his rather bizarre sense of humor...nor had it be able to give him a filter for all the things he thought in his head. It was best if he worked around people who were beyond being offended by his inappropriate jokes. He couldn't offend the dead...and every so often, he got the chance to see so very much.

Like now. There wasn't a bit of NCIS that didn't interest him. It was a wonderful world and he loved that he was here. He would forever thank his supervisor who first suggested that he apply for the position.

After another ten minutes, Faith had everything she needed. She was satisfied and told them so.

"Thank you, Agent Gibbs. This will be filed ASAP. You may be contacted by JAG later on. Good night." She looked round at them all, nodded and strode away, the information all securely stowed away in her amazing briefcase.

Jimmy grinned as she left.

"Hey, Black Lung, what you so happy about?" Tony asked.

"I saw inside her briefcase," Jimmy said happily.

"Oh, is _that_ what they call it nowadays?" Tony asked with a leer.

Jimmy blushed but then laughed along with Tony, Ziva and Tim. ...but at the same time... He quickly shut that line of thought down before he blurted it out and embarrassed himself.

"I'd heard so much about it... I just wanted to see it for myself," he said.

"How did you do that?" Tim asked.

"I just asked her...and she showed it to me."

"Sweet. Still organized?"

"Oh, yeah. _Amazingly_ organized."

"Go home," Gibbs said, interrupting with a hefty roll of his eyes.

"Yes, Boss," Tony said instantly, knowing just when it was time to leave and time to continue his antics.

The others grabbed their things and headed for the elevator, pausing when Jimmy didn't follow them.

"Jimmy, are you coming?" Ziva asked.

"Oh, no. I left some stuff downstairs."

"You sure?" Tim asked. "We can wait."

"Nah. Go ahead."

"Okay, see you around, Black Lung!" Tony called out merrily.

Jimmy laughed and waved. Then, he hurried out of the bullpen, just so that he didn't have to be in Gibbs' presence by himself. ...especially when he was grinning like an idiot.

He finished up a couple of simple chores in Autopsy, things that he didn't really need to do. Then, he judged it safe to leave and he walked out of the building, heading for his old used car.

"Jimmy!"

The voice surprised him and he turned around.

"Commander Coleman...uh...Faith?"

"Either will do."

"What do you want?"

"To chat with you a bit more," she said with a smile.

"Um...why?"

"Because you are singularly interesting. I've never met someone whose words I can't predict in the slightest."

"Is that a good thing?"

"If you were a witness in a courtroom, absolutely not. It would be disastrous. Otherwise, it _can_ be a good thing."

"Even if I'm not organized?"

"Just because _I_ am smart enough to organize my life perfectly doesn't mean the same is required of you."

"So...is chatting a euphemism?" Jimmy asked.

"What would it be a euphemism for, pray tell?"

"For sex!" Jimmy said...and then, blushed. Even _he_ knew that was a tad inappropriate.

"It is not a euphemism for sex to my knowledge," Faith said. "...but if you're interested, we can discuss it. Are you?"

Jimmy floundered. "...but...you're...a lot older than I am."

Faith brushed that away. "Not even a decade. I'm not old enough to be your mother. We're certainly not Harold and Maude material."

Jimmy couldn't believe he was even _having_ this conversation, even in a theoretical sense.

"I'm not suggesting that we have sex, Jimmy. Talking doesn't always have to be a precursor to nudity, you know."

Jimmy flushed.

"But I assure you, should that ever end up being the case, I'm in _excellent_ shape."

She was, too. Jimmy could see that just by looking at her.

"Yes, you are," he agreed. "...are you familiar with the Amazons in Greek mythology?"

"Vaguely. Why?" She actually looked intrigued, wondering just where Jimmy was going with this.

"Well, Dr. Mallard was telling me a long story about them. I can't remember why, but I'm sure it fit in with an autopsy or something, somehow. I think you'd fit right in with them."

Faith laughed. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"Oh, it is. They ruled their tribes and kept men at home for sex."

"Do you talk about sex often, Jimmy? ...or is today just a special day?"

Jimmy blushed bright red. "Uh..."

"Never mind. I was going to grab a late dinner. Would you like to join me?"

"Um...sure. Yes. Love to. Why not?"

"Excellent."

"It's a Christmas miracle," Jimmy said, jokingly.

"No, because a miracle implies a lack of planning on my part...and that is most definitely not the case," she said and raised an eyebrow suggestively.

"...or not," Jimmy said without missing a beat. "So. Faith..."

They began to walk toward Faith's car. Somehow, there was no question that she'd be driving. That was just fine with Jimmy.

"Yes? Would you like to see my briefcase again?" she asked with a smile.

"No...I was just wondering..."

"Yes?"

"How do you feel about shoes?"

FINIS!


End file.
